Oh Diary! Chapter II

This chapter is five months over due so buckle up for the longest chapter of my life. Remember Chapter I? Yea things actually worked out. 2020 was not all that bad or so I thought. God Almighty actually helped me in sorting my accommodations for university. Please do not get me wrong, I had to suffer for a week in managing my transportation to class and it was hell to say the least. While I learned a lot on snakes, how to take good care of them and also found a soft spot for those creepy reptiles, I also managed to learn a thing or two on bus rides. Schedules, timing, how to tap the damn card on the screen, when to press the buzzer for my stop. It was pretty calming, the bus ride but time consuming also energy consuming. I am no athlete with steroids injected for Olympics (I am looking at you Russia, remember Icarus?). Then, there is also that issue with not being able to be present with my friends. I cannot spend time with them outside of class. No random McDonald's trip in the middle of the night, no chit chatting till early in the morning, no lazy lunches at the nearest store with zero makeup. Hence, I felt incompetent. Empty if you will. There is this void that I have been trying to fill up to the brim and mind you I was doing a good job at it until the third year of my degree started when I couldn't stay in university anymore. All I can do is stand behind a screen and watch them have the time of their lives while I have you know, mine. 

However, The Lord decided to switch things up because why not. Two of my good friends are living alone in their hostels hence there is an empty spot, two empty spots for me and I chose one of it. Then ladies and gentlemen, I was back in the game. My void was filling up nicely and I was happy again. I had the best three or so weeks last semester. For once, my life was great. 2020 was a great start for me, who would have thought? Why did I said three weeks or so? Well, while I was going through the roller coaster of young adult angst, a pandemic decided to drop by. I don't know if you might have heard of it but I think it is called COVID-19? Corona? Sounds familiar? So, when a pandemic affects your university; the best and most appropriate way to go by is to send all the students back home for their safety which makes sense. However, this also meant that I am back to where I started and dreaded. My home. Left all my belongings and friends to be back at home for what supposed to be a week, then turned into months and ended up we never really went back. The whole semester was finished completely online, exams included. The one time I thought that I would be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel just turns out to be an optical illusion.   

Now, here is when my life goes to complete shambles. I had to do my dissertation all alone in my room with little to no guidance. If that is not difficult enough, my family had a break down. Fights were happening everywhere like when boba tea shops were initially trending. This year taught me so much on my family; how if you are blood related to someone, does not mean that they care or love you. How some friends would drain out all your love and replenish it with more but your own flesh and blood won't. I felt very distant to all of them. It is like I cannot understand of relate to them anymore; like times have change and there is no way we would be able to sit down together like those days and live. There were no connection left to all of us other than a piece of paper printed by the government to ensure biology. So it does not get prettier from here. While my family was busy breaking each other's hearts, my university decided that they were not going to open hence we would have to take our items and belongings from our hostels. You see that is not that complicated other than the fact that I was living there illegally. The procedures were tight and secured and I was caught by the administrators and was scolded of course. At that point, I really just wanted to slit my throat because what use do I get of it? Anyhow, I did manage to take all my belongings which are still left unpack due to (we will get to that soon). Bottom line is, now I am back at square one. No place to stay for my next semester. I do not even understand the point of existing if I would not be able to spend quality time with my friends. Let's see where the Lord takes me.  

-chapter two, the end-