Oh Diary! Chapter I

On this Friday evening, I sat on my bed and think about how miserable my life has been so far. The new semester is starting but I am not ready. My whole life is in shambles right now. I have no place to stay in my university so I have to commute daily. You see, the problem is not getting on a bus with no pre-notion of what a bus ride is. The problem that has been bothering me is that I have to take 3 buses on my way to my soul torturing university. Not one, not two but bloody three and to add a cherry on top of that it takes bloody one and a half hour to get there. Yes a 20 minutes trip, tops will take one and a half hour. That is three hours of my life daily and six buses. Do the calculations Einstein, I'm screwed. I don't know how I would manage to survive this attack.

As if that was not enough, the God Almighty has blessed me with an agreeable amount of anxiety. Yes I cannot go out in public alone without having an anxiety or panic attack. My hands get all sweaty, aye you know the drill. Which is why going on three buses on one trip is freaking me out. Another thing is my classes only starts at 9 am but yours truly has to leave home by 7 am so what time will my eyes open to the world? 6 am? I am really going through something. At times I don't understand. People say that God only give you what you can handle but He had to add 2 cups of social anxiety and 3 teaspoon of depression and just a can of un-attractiveness.  Was it really necessary Dear Lord? You know I would rather be in a private room with my friends where I can see them and talk and meet. I just wonder how tough is it to give me a good short four years?

My soul has been tortured by your ways for way too long Dear Lord. I went through what you will call the "earth version of hell" which is secondary school. Was that not enough? The bullies, the heart break, the tears, the torments was it all not enough for me to have just four bloody good years? These people are my friends, my family, my sweethearts. I cannot just let them go while I fade in the background. And all of that is for what? So that I become a better human being so called?  I need to be close to them. I need to cherish these friendships to a degree because I know for a fact that these homo-sapiens won't be knocking on my door twice. I won't be able to find good people like them anymore, so I beg you Lord. Please ease my way through this semester and semesters to come because if I lose them, I will lose myself too. 


-chapter one, the end-

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